February 10, 2011

How Cold Is It?

Colder'n hell!  That's how cold it is in this neck of the woods. TN was hit with a smattering of snow, disastrous for this area but a cakewalk in northern parts, making the roadways extremely treacherous.  There are reports of overturned cars, people having to escape via their sunroof, cars sliding under tractor trailers.  People are being warned not to travel portions of #51 and I don't have to tell you that #19 is probably Hell's Highway. I wouldn't know.

When the snow started falling in B'ville, around noon, I made immediate plans to bail.  It was a busy day at Wally, folks preparing for the bad weather--toilet paper, milk, eggs, BEER--and I was pressed into cashier duty.  There goes the nail job. By 2:00 p.m., I was headed to a covered car.  It's not the big, fat flakes that you have to worry about--they're mostly water--it's those fine, dry flakes that will pile up quickly.  As fast as I cleared one section of the car and moved to another, it was covered again.  Down 19, I go.  Behind a woman who was clearly terrified.  Why do I have that impression?  Because the road conditions weren't that bad.  Without question, you had to go slowly--stay to the center and away from the nonexistent shoulders--but 15/20 miles an hour?  Looking in the side mirror, I saw a long train behind me.  No one wanted to risk going around...especially since there were morons driving without lights and visibility was poor.  Excuse turn them on in the rain, don't you?

But back to the cold.  So the temperature this morning is anywhere from single digits to 18 degrees, depending on where you are.  I swear that it is 1 degree or lower in my house.  I am the one who fell in love with the floor-to-ceiling windows and the quaintness of the place, right?  That was before I found out how damned cold it gets down here. Lawd, Lawd.  The poor heaters are kicking but the cold is overwhelming them.  Frigid air is pouring through the floor boards.  I'm bundled tightly, even pulled out the snuggie or whatever that blanket thing is called and thinking about pulling out the lined snow boots.  A knit cap is next. Heat escapes through the head, right?

Very little is moving along the street in front of my house.  My co-workers are fond of telling me that when it snows, "we shut it down."  When I called in, I told them that nothing was moving in Ripley and neither was I.  The public works pick-up truck went down the street, very carefully, its back loaded with containers of salt.  Where and when do you anticipate putting it down?   The weatherman says that the temperature will not rise enough to melt the ice; however, what melts will very quickly freeze again.

Seems like I should be somewhere warm.  Like back in the DR, enjoying their beach parties or lazing under an umbrella with a drink.  Sounds good? 

And as cold as it is here, it is nowhere as bad as this:

It's winter in Missouri
And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 52 below!
Oh, how I love Missouri
When the snow's up to your butt;
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose is frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
You may think I'm a fool.
I could never leave Missouri ,
Cause I'm frozen to the stool.
Is that my master bath?  Be Safe. Be Blessed!

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