April 21, 2012

Small, Medium, or Large?

"What size is this?" he asked as he handed me the box. "Size? Darling, I didn't know they came in sizes." "Yes, ma'am, the other brand lists the size on the box but this doesn't."  Well, boys and girls, Sistah Girl and the young man took a stroll to see whether there were sizes listed on the boxes and we were just overlooking it.

I cleaned my glasses on my shirt; read all of the fine print.  Looked at the other boxes which did, indeed, say "large."  "Well, look at that," I said.  Now I am pulling out all boxes with different descriptions, looking for a size.  "Darling, you're really asking the wrong person.  Do you know how long it's been since I've had experience with this and I never bought any.  As a matter of fact, it was so long ago, they were purchased at the gas station."

By this time, I'm sure that I'm turning red. And, we're still pulling out boxes. "Darling, the best thing I can tell you is that they probably expand. But, you know, Walmart does have a return policy."  Why would he then ask, "Oh, you mean, I can return it with a receipt if it is the wrong size?"  I started laughing and told him that I really didn't think this product qualified.

Lawd, Lawd.  Since when did condoms come in all sizes, colors, textures?  What happened to the old lambskin?  Now, they've even got them with a drip cap or some name to ensure that everything is contained.

I wanted to ask him if this was his first time buying a condom.  Surely not.  This was not a "tweenie" teen. But, then, maybe it was.  One thing is for sure, 'Young Blood' and I definitely got a crash course in this subject.

Be Safe. Be Blessed. 

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