Greetings from the guest house. I don't know why my brood and I have been consigned to the outer porch but at least it is not outside. Something about we "stink." Like that cigarette smoke doesn't. Actually, she's doing me a favor by not subjecting my pups to her second-hand smoke. I have to give her credit, though. She does change the mat for us daily and there is room service. Almost like being in a 4-star hotel. Almost.
She is really trying to make a go of this but she is totally out of her league. I'm trying to train her but there may be some truth to "you can't teach an old dog new tricks." Thank goodness, I'm young. And did I hear her say I was "skin and bones?" I could be insulted but prefer to think that I've regained my sleek, trim looks and that she is just jealous. After all, how many diets has she been on?
But back to my brood. I have this motherhood thing down to a science. I was reluctant to leave them the first two days but even the most devoted mother needs a break from all that nursing. I'm a little more confident about leaving them alone long enough to go outside. No more of that throwing me out of the door. No siree. When I hear her come to the door, I'm out of the guest house and waiting. Not only do I have business to attend to but I have to check around the estate to make sure everything is in order. One of us has to--you know she doesn't walk the property like she should. So I just make a short check--can't leave my offspring too long.
She doesn't seem to understand that--brings the food outside, like I'm going to take a leisurely lunch. Not. Just bring it back inside and I'll eat at my leisure. Of course, I'm always starved. It is a wonder that I don't choke while trying to eat on the run. The pups are taking so much nourishment. She's concerned that one of my chil'ren, whom she calls a runt, is not getting enough to eat. Went out and bought a baby bottle and milk. Like I don't have enough for my child to eat. She tried to feed my baby with that contraption. I just looked at her. When I had enough of the silly stuff (it was obvious she didn't know what she was doing), I let her know that she needed to put my child down and let me take care of her. Folks always trying to get into your bizness.
And speaking of training, this woman can't remember anything. I had to remind her yesterday that I want my treat when I come in. Just because I missed a few days doesn't mean that I have sworn off of them. Honestly! She hasn't given up her cookies; is there a difference? Hadn't been inside since I gave birth--five beautiful babies, thank you--but I ducked inside and let her know that a treat was in order. Good grief! Surely I deserve something for delivering 5 babies. By myself, no less, cause she was no help. I didn't see the press around for the delivery. Not even a passing mention on the news. Two-leggers get fame, flowers, new housing (okay, I did get a house out of the deal), but for me it was.... So I ducked in and did the obligatory song and dance. She finally got the message and doled out several treats. I was most thankful. Even scouted out her quarters to make sure nothing had changed. It's still messy.
Well, I appreciate the opportunity to holler at you but I can't stay away too long. Unlike Missy, who can sit in front of this machine for hours, I have a family to see to. Oh, and that fall? If she'd been looking where she was going, she would have realized that I had stopped. Went down like a felled tree. It's a good thing I was there with plenty of kisses to make it better. She'll be okay. I'm trying my best to look after her. Talk to you soon.