January 27, 2008

Square Peg, Round Hole

Just doesn't fit, don't care how much you force it. "You're from up North, aren't you?" How could you tell? "Your accent; the way you look; the way you carry yourself; the way you do things." Now, good people, I really didn't think I looked any different from the rest of the Black folks down here. I can't change my speech (nor do I want to) and I am eternally grateful to my mother for drumming "yes ma'am/sir" into me. It comes out very naturally. Don't have to work on it. Regardless of the race. But the rest of it???

Now, if I was trying to hang out with a different socio-economic level, the charge would be valid. I would definitely stick out like a sore thumb. But that would be anywhere, in any city. I just wouldn't fit. I found the comments interesting and tried to pin down exactly what was meant but girlfriend wasn't saying any more other than she can tell when people are not from Ripley, even the women in Covington. Could it be my earrings? Yes, little brother, I'm still wearing them. Every day. And they are not the "hootchie mama," drag the shoulders, mini-saucer, cheap ones, which might have been a factor in her characterization. I can't figure out the "carry yourself" or "the way you do things" analogies--I walk on two feet just like everyone else and there are only so many ways to bust boxes or shelve merchandise. My clothes are clean. Oh, well. If you figure it out, let me know.

Worked a full eight hours for the first time in recent memory. Needless to say, it took its toll. Also heard back, immediately, from a phone interview for an office administrator position. Negative. Was not surprised. It was for a financial firm and I figured my bankruptcy would do me in. Good grief, that was almost 20 years ago--does it never stop being held against you? And how do other people manage? Before the ink dries on the paper, they have opened a business the next day. It almost feels as though I have a felony record. But never fear, more resumes in the works. Something has got to break.

And the news from the brood? They have been encamped in the kitchen for the last few nights. I just couldn't see running a heater on the porch, adding to my expense. Let me be perfectly clear, I don't care for dogs in the kitchen but this was a choice between bad and worse. Tried to out slick Big Boy and got slicked. Put those good-for-nothing training pads under the newspaper for an extra layer of absorbency. He found them, one by one. And tore them to shreds for good measure. Fluff everywhere. Didn't do badly in the sanitation/hygiene department--a major point in his favor. Today, they have been outside for extended periods, the weather being relatively warm. He on one side of the yard. Cindy on the other. Why? The playing gets a little rough sometimes and though he can't win (yet), it sounded as though a major dog fight was underway. I can't pay Mike Vick-sized-fines. He didn't like the separation one bit--yip, yip, yap, whine, bark. At times he resembled a tot in the corner for a time-out. Cindy wasn't fazed. She spent her time looking longingly at the lot behind me. Somewhere out there is a male friend, I just know it.

Caught CNN's Broken Government--Campaign Killers last night and it was extremely good. It gave an in-depth look at the making of negative commercials and how polls, commercials, etc., can be manipulated to smear a candidate. The creators had no apologies--all's fair in love, war, and politics. Catch it if you can. I know that it is being repeated today, Sunday, at various times.

Friends sent some things that I want to share with you. I hope you will enjoy them as much as I did. One is an e-card from a high school friend I ran into last year whom I hadn't seen since graduation. I was sent to temp at McGraw Hill and thought he looked familiar but couldn't place him. It is a small world.

The other is from a DAR friend. It takes a moment to get started but a great presentation.

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