Pages

May 24, 2007

I Didn't Learn Everything in Kindergarten

As a matter of fact, I didn't go to kindergarten. I'm one of those babies who was too young one year and too old the next. But that's another story. Here's what I learned today (with other days thrown in).

1. GPS is awesome! I didn't need it in DC, because when you've spent your entire life in an area, you usually know it like the back of your hand. (The exception being the folks down here.) Going to a new place; that is a different story. I took it out for a trial run to Ripley and am suitably impressed. But don't you know the way to Ripley? Yes, I'm just checking it out. We soon began to argue. The ladies (female voices are used) would tell me that I should prepare to make a right turn in .5 miles. I'd blow through the turn because it is not the route I would normally take and I'm in a hurry. No time to trust a new-fangled contraption. Ding, ding, ding. Right insistent. I quickly picked up on the different sounds of the dings and what they mean. Then I was instructed to make a legal u-turn as soon as possible. Look, the queen of uies doesn't need that instruction. Then, in a rather huffy tone, "recalculating the route." Good. For my friends who are, indeed, directionally-challenged, ask for it as a gift or treat yourself.

2. Bell South (the new AT&T) does not provide residential DSL to my side of town. The service is available; just not for me. But I can sign up for dial-up. I don't think so. Been there, done that. It looks like I will either have to get cable and its internet service or DirecTv and its internet service. Decisions, decisions.

3. The warmer it gets, the more roadside stands are opening up. It has been hot but where are they getting watermelons from? And, cantaloupes? Everybody cannot have a greenhouse on their property.

4. A horse trailer has appeared at one of the buildings not far from me, replete with bales of straw, saddle, etc. No horse. Can't figure out whether they are coming or going. And did you know that you can hang the saddle in these things? And that they, the saddles, are huge? I've never given it much thought. My experience on a horse over 40 years ago taught me that they are best observed, not ridden. Several of the farms I've passed going back and forth to my new home (I'm just loving the sound of that), have beautiful horses on them. Today, I passed a beautiful brown (is that what they call chestnut) horse with a brilliant white marking (is that what they call a star).

5. When they say 3:00, they mean 3:00, not 3:15. I blew into my driveway at 3:15. More traffic on the road than usual and I am observing the speed limits (well, almost. When they say 45 m.p.h, I try to do 45 m.p.h. There was a higher police presence than I've seen since I've been here. It dawns on me that it is a holiday weekend and they usually come out in force at that time.) Water company has been and gone. From where I come, 3:00 means "when we feel like it." Another adjustment to the thinking has to be made. Not a lot of cleaning done.

6. You must remove your own dead animals in Ripley. No calling and asking for removal. Oh, God! I don't have anything to scoop that cat up with. Not to mention, no stomach for it, either.

7. The locksmith did come and was a wealth of information. He pointed out that I have wavy glass at the front of the house. Awesome! The floors are heart pine. There are several antique locks through out the house, many requiring skeleton keys which are long gone. Cleaned up, they will be beautiful. I can't tell if they are ornate but-- just to have them The dutch door, yep, I've got one, has the original locking mechanism. I can't find a description so I'll take a picture. Another door also has a unique locking feature. I'll have to post a photo of that as well. There is a lock at the front door which is beautiful but has no key. The cylinder may not be able to be replaced. My brother, who has my budget at heart, has sent several links for antique hardware, etc., which I immediately sent to the locksmith. If I can't find the correct cylinder, the lock still stays. I just won't be able to come in by the front door. Use the side door, y'all.

8. He also pointed out that if I remove the ornate metal coverings to fireplaces, I can then insert gas logs. Hallelujah! I'll sacrifice the covers to get rid of the oooogly heaters that are currently in place.

9. Every bright star in the night sky is not a star. Stand still long enough and you realize that it is an airplane making its' ascent. Silly goose! What do I know? The only airborne equipment in my neighborhood were helicopters, either those looking for someone or on the way to transport someone. Further, I was not trying to stand outside after dark, stargazing. Not with Bebe and her kids making life miserable for everyone in the nearby vicinity.

Closing out for the moment, it's an early and probably long day ahead. And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

1 comment:

Bandido said...

Yes Mother its rather interesting your post but once again 1: Andie and Barney are out in force cause thats how they get paid and elected. 2: In the words of a famous western writer "you either pony up to the bar or stay on the ranch" with that said you left the ranch and its semi safty now you are at the bar its time to pony up bag and tag all the critters that have decided to stop by for a visit or just to stop by permenatly and for heavens sake LUKE USE THE GPS!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are in Ten now they dont take too kindly too city slickers who whip u turns and glare with hostile intent when there way is not gotten or speed through town in fancy autos.