January 06, 2008

What Did You Have On?

Women are the same, I don't care where you go. Serious. Had the opportunity to meet another Gwen (I have never met so many Gwens in my life) who invited me to attend her church. Turns out it was St. Luke's, which I have visited. She wanted to know when because she makes it a point to personally welcome all new visitors. What did you have on? I notice people's clothes. I chuckled and told her that I was the only person sitting in the back of the church that Sunday so how did she miss me? Told her that Alice Beard had invited me. Still major disbelief on her part. She called her son over and asked him did he remember my visit. No, he didn't. What can I say? When I told Alice about it, she couldn't believe the statement about watching people's clothing. Nothing new. Most people do, I think. I know I do. I laughed and told her that I knew I was being checked out as I made my way to the front and, yes, my bag and shoes matched. Turns out they are related by marriage some kind of way. Isn't everybody?

Ripley has more than its fair share of some-timey women. Or, maybe because it is such a small community that it is noticed more. The ladies at Wally World blow hot and cold. Black and white. You never know which day they will talk your ears off or pretend you don't exist. Witness Granny Gee, of florist fame. Hair is a mixed gray, worn in an out-dated shag haircut but becoming to her. Not nearly as gray as I am. Showed up in a reddish, shoulder-length wig. Major change. Haven't figured out whether I thought it was becoming or not. She looked right through me. My good friend, Mrs. Drain, is another. A big fish in a very small pond. Thank God she has the Eastern Star and presidency of the school board to bolster her. And let's not forget her daughter's membership in AKA. Now, why did I learn she has a food stamps card? How did she get one? Isn't it incongruous that she would have one? Maybe it belongs to a family member. I think I would use it in another town, if I were her.

My supervisor is the queen of aloofness. But we know that she is strange. Reddish wig, shoulder-length. Bopped through the other night, dressed. Almost didn't recognize her. Barely spoke and that is a good thing. Her Wally World outfit consists of ankle-length skirts. Guess her religion doesn't allow for pants. She's Baptist.

Lest you get the wrong idea. There are some very hospitable, even-tempered women here. A few come to mind who carry a perpetual smile and are always cheerful. But I have concluded that there are two types of women that the world can do without. Ugly women who think they are cute and cute women who are too cute. You know exactly what I mean.

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