March 02, 2008

I've Just Got to Be Free

Hey, there. Cindy speaking. It's been a long time since I hollered at ya. Wanted to bring you up to speed on what is happening down here with me and Big Foot, oops, Big Boy. The boy is an idiot and I don't know where in the hell he came from. Missy keeps thumping on him and he keeps doing the same dumb things--like chewing on stuff he knows he has no business chewing. She finally got wise and moved most of the stuff. About time, it gives me and my child a little more room. Now, if she could just get him to stop pooping all over the place but, I must agree, he's doing better.

And we won't talk about her precious yard. You'd think she'd never had a piece of dirt and grass in her life. Honestly, you have never seen anyone get so upset over a hole. I must admit, though, some of them are pretty deep but look at this way, we're saving her time and effort. All she has to do is dump a plant in it. I think we're doing her a service.

Missy's friend was in for a visit and told her that Big Boy's collar was too tight. So she bought him a new one. What he didn't tell her was that mine was too loose. Boy, did she ever find out. Yesterday was a very pretty day and we were kicked outside before the crack of dawn. Man, I just hate it when she steps outside and figures the weather is good enough for us to be outside. I am a HOUSE DOG! Anyway, she goes through the trouble of tying us up and starts to get ready for Wally World. Can you see her face when she realized that I was not on the chain? Priceless.

Yeah, I got her good. Waited for her to come out and decided to go walk-about. Ignored her and walked down the driveway. When she started toward me, I took off. I'd had enough of being chained in that yard with that boy who doesn't know anything but jump, jump, jump, all day long. Well, Missy wasn't happy because she was on her way to work and you know how close she cuts it. Can you see my face when Missy's car pulled up a block or so away and she got out of it? I had just started my adventure and there she was calling me. I didn't want to embarrass her in front of the people at the post office, so I trotted over and got in without a fuss. Actually, I made out pretty good because I didn't get thumped AND I got to ride in the car. Something I haven't been able to do since the children arrived. Motherhood ain't all it is cracked up to be.

Anyway, back to the house, where she CARRIED me (can you believe it?) back to my chain and collar. Made sure it was good and tight because she was determined that we were going to stay outside for as long as possible. Now, I ask you? What if it had rained? Or the weather went from warm to cold? We're outside and she's at work. Do you think I'll get a new collar? I want one with rhinestones and stuff--you know, bling with a capital B.

We're back outside today and I understand that is where we'll be for the duration. It was 60 degrees at 7 a.m., so I don't see getting back in the house until nightfall. Pray for Missy, will you? Oh, and tell her the collar has to be pink.

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