February 08, 2010

Tennessee, PLEASE!!

Mo' drama; snow drama. I know...for those of you suffering through 28 inches of the white stuff...what on earth could I be complaining about? Listen my children and you shall hear about the perils of driving in snow in the land of the Volunteers.

SF dropped in on his way to Atlanta. Great time. The house was warm; the sink unstopped; Sunday's temperature is nice and pleasant. Settled in to watch the Superbowl. Plans are to leave at 5:30 a.m., drop him at the airport, and then head back to Brownsville. What's this? Rain? Nope, snow. By the time we hit Covington, the roads were becoming a mess. The snow is coming down. It is dark and you can't see the shoulders. Now, this is important. See...there are no shoulders. As evidenced by the number of cars which went off the road and down the embankment. Getting a little nervous. We're 36 miles away from Memphis. I-40 and 240 are closed in Memphis. Need those highways to get to the airport. Not going to make the plane and I'm not going to make work. "The first parking lot that I see where I can see the driveway, I'm pulling in."

Wally World!!! We can kill several birds with one stone. Get the company's call-in phone number; call the attorney in Atlanta; GET OFF of the road! Because you know that there is not one, nada, zilch, zero, zip, snow trucks anywhere to be seen. And the snow is to turn into sleet, you say? Then back into snow? Get outta here! And the flight was canceled. So, why didn't we know this? Because the weather was a surprise to everyone, including the forecasters.

After a leisurely breakfast at McDonald's, we head back towards the Big Rip. More cars over the side. We counted 5 or 6 between Millington and Covington. We carefully inched our way back. Plan B is in effect. See what is flying out later that day. Okaaay, the Atlanta office has booked SF on the 4 p.m., flight.

Here we go, again. But first, the driveway has to be treated with salt because I want to be able to get back in. It's not snowing but you never know.... So, off we go. The closer we get to Memphis, the worse the weather and roads become. It's 3 p.m., and Missy makes the wrong turn. We're in Memphis without a clue as to where the airport is. Holy ****! Turn on Maggie who, without unfailing accuracy, leads us to a dead end street. Oh, a police car--a source of directions. What? You can't give us directions to the airport??? You MUST be kidding! WHY are YOU on the force? Thank you very much! Mail truck! Turn around and go back to Riverside Drive, you say? Miss Maggie is back on track and we pull into the airport at 3:40. Not making the plane but hope springs eternal.

Oh. My. God! The roads are damned near impassable. The snow is coming down and is mixed with sleet; the windshield is not clear which makes visibility poor. I'm almost in the passenger's seat trying to see. The roads are crusted ice. 20 miles an hour, up and down hills. Cars sliding off the road. Lawd, lawd. Traveling mercies, please.

By the time, I reach Covington, it is pure snow. Deep snow on on the road. Here's the turnoff for Henning. Do I take that or chance the very steep hills to the Big Rip? Turned off. FOOOOL! What'd you do that for? It's dark; snowing like hell, and there's only one car traveling the road in front of me. Slowly, slowly, girlfriend. Finally, the Big Rip.

Started hitting serious slides near the square. What...I get within shouting distance of the house and start fishtailing? At 20 miles an hour? It's a hill, so shift into 2nd and then into 1st. Finally, make the crest and am at the square. Okay, next decision. Down the hill by the firehouse or through the square to Lafayette. Down the hill. What the hell? It's a night for foolish decisions. The lone fireman stands outside to watch me crash and burn. You can hear him saying to himself that he and his buddies are going to have to come down and straighten me out. Not! I'm from D.C., brother-man. I've got this! Down the hill, round the corner, up the hill, down the hill to the driveway.

Make the turn into the driveway. S-T-U-C-K! Aw hell, naw! Didn't we spread salt before I left? There is so much snow on the driveway until it is unreal. Out of the car; get the shovel. Why did I throw salt? Shovel the driveway just to get in the garage? And, as fast as I shovel, the area is covered again? Up the driveway and into the garage. Thank you, Jesus! SF is probably landing in Atlanta at that very moment. What an ordeal.

Western Tennessee has exceeded its allotted average of 5 inches of snow per year. We got 5 inches a week ago and, damned, it is 5 inches out there again! Lost power several times throughout the night. Where is the flashlight? Don't know but will certainly buy some more. One thing is for sure and two things are for certain...I won't be trying to make Wally World. Don't care who's coming to visit.

Be safe. Be blessed.


JasB said...

Maggie should be washed, waxed, and pampered. Sounds like a jeep, but you say its a Lincoln.

Tk421 said...

Welcome to Wonderland Alice me and the Volvo have been there done that except for the fish tail she is as steady as a rock