March 13, 2010

Training Day 2

Here we are...Day 2. I'm telling you in advance that it was the most chaotic, frenzied, out-of-control day in all of recent memory. You had to be there. The best thing which occurred is that I lived to tell the tale.

I've preempted the computers. I have 9 people for 5 machines. No way are they going to get the computer training out of the way but they've got to get the required state and federal forms done. Can't do it if we have to fight off the old-timers who have waited until the last minute to complete their training. So as they walk through the door, I'm directing them to a computer. Get a few forms completed; now SWITCH! Changing from the generic password to a specific one--slow learner just can't get the hang of it; whippersnapper ignores the instructions and puts in his own. "No, darling...the password you need to enter is...." "Why? It's my password." "Nope, it is Wally's password." Just follow the damned instructions.

One form requires printing the final document. None of the systems are printing to my printer. Major glitch. Fortunately, we're able to print to another one in another area. I'm moving from computer to computer verifying and entering info. Built in security deems that the machine shut down after so many minutes of inactivity. Sooo...some have to be redone. There is no automatic save. And whippersnappers are signing in both the employee and employer boxes. Do you employ anybody??? Reprint! Excuse me...we filled out paper W-4's yesterday so that you would have the information on hand...why is it taking you an hour to fill in the electronic version? And where is the paper form? You can't submit it because you didn't fill in all of the boxes. Pulleeze!

Some can go for the security briefing. He can only accommodate three at a time. You can picture his office, right? And while those three are gone, I'm working with the other 6--SWITCH!

Phone is ringing off the hook. People need assistance. Outdated information has to be addressed in the training materials--new information to be imparted. Did I forget anything? Please go to lunch...take an hour. "We won't all come back at the same time." Please...just go to lunch...'cause I NEED a break.

Okay, 5 people at the systems; one at mine to read. Three on the floor for an exercise. Slow learner has planted himself at the computer and is not moving. No problem except for he's SLOW! Can't get the hang of that password to save his life. One of the whippersnappers needed to be in that seat but I can't make him move.

I've got to burn time and still need to talk to Alpha Male, get back paperwork, need him to make his speech. Everyone else has done their part. Mention the problems with the number of people. "Well, you need to rotate them." Just what the #### do you think I'm doing? "Orientation should only take a day." R-i-g-h-t! "We've already discussed with Mr. O that it takes more than a day." And, excuse me, have you made your speech, yet?

Send some for photos. Got this under control, right? While some go, the others will continue working. NOT! All but one head for the photo center. I'm still trying to get schedules in hand. Some people will have to come in on Saturday and commandeer the computers. Which means schedules have to be changed. And just when you think everything is finalized, here comes not 1 but 3 who have special needs. Doesn't your availability read 24/7? Of course not. There the ones who can't work specific hours because they have class; then another who can't work past a certain hour.

It's after 4. Did I mention that I have to burn time? But I'm still handling schedules and trying to put in time for folks on leave. When I mention to Alpha Male that I'm over, did he hit the roof? "Just trying to finish my work." "That's not your call to make." BITE ME. I do hate that term--caused a major fraction between me and Number One Son, but that's a tale for another time.

End result? Dumped everything in the file drawer. Wished everyone a good night and seethed my way home. Please, Lord, help me make it through this year. I need the cash.

Please pray for my associate with the transplants. He returned to the hospital a week ago and his wife received a call late Thursday that his condition was not good.

Set your clock ahead an hour and change your smoke-alarm batteries. Stay safe. Be Blessed.


JasB said...

Younger brother (hanging judge), questions if you have the authority to fire, those who are incapable of following simple orders, before the more complex ones begin?

DCnTN said...

No authority. This one is too smart--intellectually, that is.